How do I be a good mother?

Because, you see, I am not like so many other lucky mothers who can call their moms or grandmothers and ask, "Hey, I did this when I was a kid, so what do I do now that my kid is doing this?".

I am alone in this because my mother was largely absent, due to either drugs, alcohol or just plain voluntary she didn't give a damn (she tries to make up for that now, but is another post for another time).

So now I raise my 9 year old child, who is quite brilliant, except she suffers from an extreme form of ADHD. And before any of you waste your breath with ADHD and its over-prescriptions and its implications --- understand. Google ADHD and whatever else you need to do to understand. It is a REAL disorder that affects REAL people in a REAL way.

We both have this disorder. And it cripples us from day to day. We cannot remember appointments, homework, assignments, etc. We are slowly sucking at life. I have invented various ways to deal with my own disorder, but it hurts me to watch her struggle on a day-to-day basis. It hurts me to watch her wade through her life through the lens of a disorder she could not being to understand.

I want to call my mother and ask her, "What did you do when I did this?". I want to call someone and ask them, "How can I help her do better in school?", "How do I help her remember her homeword?".


I feel alone with my child and I need help to get her through this. She is brilliant and shows promise that would baffle others -- but her teachers won't see it because she "talks excessively in class" and "doesn't follow direction well".

I invite those teachers to live a day in either of our lives and then see how they evaluate.

A Three Fold Utopian Dream

You know, we have come a long way. A. Long. Way.

We started out with nothing. Literally ... nothing. Neither one of us had a vehicle. Neither one of us had a job (me ... by choice. you ... by circumstance). And we thought neither one of us had a chance at love.

But here we are, almost 2 years to the day that we met (September 01, 2006 ... I remember well and I know you do).

Look where we are now.

We have our lives together, brought together by sheer cirumstance of passing by.

We have our children, brought together by our union of sheer love and respect for one another.
We have us. And that is what I am most astonished by. That we overcame amazing obstacles. That we overcame everyone's objections. That we overcame the distance that haunted us with its many miles of seperation. That we overcame everything that threatened to tear us apart, but could not seperate a union that was destined to be.

You have crossed the barrier that some have tried to cross in the past ... a permanent union with me. Those before you have failed to make that union permanent because they did not possess what you did: Everything that I have needed. Everything that I have wanted.

And I guarantee you ... I promise you ... the union we entered into on the date of our marriage seals our fate for the rest of our lives.

The first year has been phenomenal. I cannot wait for the preceding years. You accept me as I am -- no questions, no judgements. And for that, you have given me the gift of acceptance.
So I give you my loyalty, my trust ... my respect. And in return, I ask only for you.

I love you Husband. I love you dearly. More than these silly words express.

I.Love.You.
(and the greatest part? i know that you feel the same as i do .. a three fold utopian dream.)

Too Laate

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/25921453

This makes my heart happy. For Congress to make this decision shows a progressive movement towards recognizing our nation was not built on just Jesus and the right to carry guns. This nation was built on the humiliation and degradation of thousands of people that, at the time, our nation considered a second-class. Our nation didn't value their effort and their contribution to making our economy prosperous. Without the efforts of the slaves, the economy of the United States would have been crippled.

And HUNDREDS of years later, our Congressional body decides its time to apologize for enslaving thousands. They apologize for forcing them to make our nation prosperous.

But at least, at some point, they decided to apologize.

I'm reminded of a song: "It's too laaate to 'pologize